Things I Hate.

....cus i'm in a cynical mood

• the unknown/not knowing things
• being hungry
• cleaning
• stupid people
• people who lack a sense of humor
• most people in general
• rudeness
• bigotry
• ignorance
• putting forth effort
• people who try too hard/overachievers
• birds
• needles
• not having a car
• running/working out/physical activity
• people who think they're fat when they're really not
• people who think they're skinny when they're really not
• the cold
• seeing people upset/not knowing how to comfort them
• when guys get angry
• when people don't like me
• getting in fights/arguments/disagreements
• when people try to tell you you're wrong when you KNOW you're right
• working in groups in class and no one wants to do things your way even though you know its the best
• watching people you love make bad decisions and not being able to stop them

sick.

dear world,

i'm just gonna keep doin me and yall can keep doin you. i'm so sick of this. i'm tired of dealing with everything, putting up with everyone's shit, doing EVERYTHING and not getting anything in return. i'm tired of being let down and disappointed. i'm tired of expecting things out of people who will never change. i thought leaving home would leave my problems all behind, but apparently not. STOP BRINGING ME DOWN. how about everybody just gets their shit together and THEN gets at me. call me melodramatic, whatever. i wish it was easier to just stop caring about everything.....

i'm done.

I WANT A PUPPY.

like, honestly. words cannot describe how badly i want one of those lil guys. this girl i know randomly posted an album of her new puppy and i creeped until my heart melted. I. LOVE. PUPPIES. they are on my list of top 5 favorite things in the world. I WANT ONE.

.......so yeah. that was pretty much the main purpose of this blog post.

p.s. this is the BEST WEBSITE EVER for fulfilling your puppy viewing needs.

late night confessions of an insomniatic fatass

so, i can't sleep.

so, i'm blogging again.

really i'm just hungry. and mildly homesick. but mostly hungry. for REAL FOOD.

in all honestly, the thing i've missed most since being at college is real food. these are my top 3:

1.Pasta

like honestly, i'm pretty sure high point university is anti-itallian or something. there is literally NO WHERE on campus to get a pasta dish. i LOVE pasta. homemade spaghetti is legit like my favorite food. and I CAN'T GET IT HERE. THIS IS NOT OKAY. i was seriously beyond elated when i stayed with KD at uncg this weekend and she had leftover spaghetti & vodka sauce. needless to say, i ate all of it.

2. Chipotle

when i'm at home, i usually go to chipotle for my burrito fix weekly. i usually do this alone, because no one ever wants to go with me. because when i need my chipotle, i NEED my

chipotle. so not having a car here is a HUGE problem. BECAUSE I CAN'T GET MY CHIPOTLE.

3. Asian Food

I LOVE asian food. Namely chinese, japanese, and thai, but if it's recipe originated in asia, i'll eat it (except for like.... dog). my annie chuns bowls do a pretty good job of holding me over, but they just aren't the same as real chinese takeout. its no secret that i'm addicted to pei wei, so of course its a huge problem that the nearest pei wei to high point university is 70 MILES AWAY. NOT OKAY. but honestly, i'll take any asian food i can get. sushi too. honey seared chicken. dumplings. rice. pad thai. lo mein........

....now i REALLY won't be able to sleep......

so.....you've become a pirate?

its so weird how things change. like how different your life can be in just a year.

i don't like change.

...why is it so hard sometimes to hop off the past's dick and make new memories???

questions. comments. complaints.

so, I like to complain. and what better place to do it than in my unknown blog that no one reads/even knows exists?

Why does this room always smell so bad???

like.... seriously. ever since day one North 214 has had a weird smell to it. first it was the foam thing under my mattress. once i discovered the source of that smell, i got rid of it. but different, worse smells took its place. things not even brazilian carnival can mask. like, for instance, our trash can. the roommate and i probably should not keep things in there for long periods of time (i.e. ravioli, clam chowder, taquitos, etc.) now i'm not gonna point any fingers... but all i'm saying is that IIIIIIII usually finish all my food, therefore have no nasty leftovers sitting around rotting in our trashcan. then, of course, there was the period of time our room smelled like vom for a view days after my co-inhabitant and myself had a rough night.

so today when i came home from class and, once again, our room smelled like something died in it, i began my cleaning spree. took out the trash, stripped my bed, began laundry... which brings me to my next complaint.

I. HATE. LAUNDRY.

anyone who has ever met me before in their life probably knows about my extreme dislike for doing laundry. for as long as i can remember, doing laundry has been my least favorite chore. i will go weeks, even months (gross, i know) without washing my clothes just to avoid this troublesome task. my friends are all fully aware of my notorious constant Floordrobe. The Floordrobe is just what it sounds like, my entire wardrobe on the floor. At home, I never hung, put away, or folded a single item of clothing. I kept everything strewn across the floor. From an outsider's perspective, it just looked like a huge mess. But I knew where every item of clothing was inside that pile. Since being in college, I have somehow managed to do away with the floordrobe. This is mainly due to the fact that I am living amongst another person in tight quarters. But still, my hate for laundry has not left me. So today, I dragged a load of laundry into the laundry room down the hall. 2/3 of the washing machines are out of order. Awesome. Six hours later, I am finally done with my laundry. SIX. HOURS. All just have clothes that smell nice.

there are a TON more things I could complain on and on about, but I'm just no longer in the mood (I loose interest easily). Plus, I am finishing this note 6 hours after I began it (laundry, class... ugh) soooo I'm just not in the zone anymore.

ssssssorryboutit.

Post-Grad Return

Oh yeah......... I have a blog.

So, naturally, I completely forgot about this blog and left it cold, alone, and abandoned the day after I made it. Typical.

So..... I'm at college. wtf? it still doesn't feel real. here's the first 2.5 weeks of my college experience in a nutshell:

I don't have friends. high point is the tip of a dreadfully boring needle under a microscope with campus walls that close in on you and cliques of people that close you off and mediocre food. oh wait.... its just like high school!!! or, more specifically, my sophomore year at battlefield.

but despite all this, i'm trying to stay open-minded about this whole thing. take my sophomore year at battlefield, for example. yes, it may have been the worst year of my life, but i overcame it and ultimately became a stronger, more self-sufficient person and met the best friends i've ever had in my life. but that took a long time. and this is college. most of the people here came in in the same boat as me, not knowing anyone. but somehow THEY'VE managed to find friends. i honestly think that i'm socially retarded. like seriously, i am unnaturally bad at making friends. i guess (and i'm not trying to sound cocky here; quite the opposite, actually) i just expect everyone to flock towards me and kneel before me and beg for my friendship. hahaha... ok, maybe nothing that extreme. but this is typical of my lazy behavior. i don't know how to go out there and work towards finding friends because i don't know how to go out there and work towards doing ANYTHING. with that said, you'd think it'd be easy for me to fix this problem and go get myself some friends. not so much. i don't know HOW to change this about myself. its something engrained into me, part of my entity. its just the way i've always been. so i just keep reminding myself of sophomore year.... how in the end, everything worked out. but i'm worried i won't be as lucky this time. what if i'm stuck here all four years miserably wasting away my parent's money on this overpriced education with a bunch of fake people who will never be my friends, just for the sake of being optimistic? some days, transferring to tech seems like SUCH a good idea. but i really don't want to give up on high point, i WANT to make it work here. and i'm not MISERABLE......okay.....95% of the time i'm not miserable.

i guess only time will tell.